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Phantom Limb

by Hochen

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1.
The Doldrums 03:37
Here lies the stump of that evil tree For many moons it cast shadow over sea One of its limbs hung off the cliff It called to men, the working stiffs One by one They come Stuck in the doldrums One by one The fallen sons Stuck in the doldrums See the times were hard for the working man He saw no way out no way to win So he’d scale the trunk no need for noose round neck Hang from that limb let go into the abyss One by one They come Stuck in the doldrums One by one The fallen sons Stuck in the doldrums One by one They come One by one Stuck in the doldrums No way out No way back in Over the edge to bring the end And who still remembers? There are some I can’t be the only one And who still remembers
2.
I was a kid Walking with mom Hand in hand We counted the squeezes We counted he cracks on the sidewalk We counted he cracks on the sidewalk Sun-washed memory Its fadin in and out of me Sun-washed memory Its fadin out Around the hydrant And back home There the image fades On the return A photograph in the fire And a million days in between A photograph in the fire And a million days in between Sun-washed memory Its fadin in and out of me Sun-washed memory Its fadin out Sun washed memory Sun washed memory I don’t know when it’ll hit But it’ll hit me like a brick Stop me in my tracks Cause I know, there’s no way to go back loose fragments in my head Bouncing around clinging to live loose fragments in my head Bouncing around clinging to live Sun washed memory Sun washed memory On the other side mom’s last days I said all I have is you and dad and D And she held me as I cried The next day she died And she held me as I cried The next day she died
3.
Pigs Blood 04:07
A night to remember, or run away Peer out the window pacing A night to remember, or run and hide If its a trick, I’ll flip the switch Flex the mind Pigs blood Covered in red Pigs blood They will be dead Pigs blood block the way Pigs blood Destruction today Life was misery up until now It felt so surreal when they placed the crown Walking on air, smiles everywhere then it all flipped when the blood rained down Flex the power Lock the doors they run to the leave control the hoard An electric spark will seal their fate Watch them burn Hear the scream Walk the streets of this town Flex my might Burn it down No longer will I be the freak to push around For my gift has been unleashed Mama Mama I’m coming for you Mama Mama I’m coming for you Theres nothing you can do
4.
Just a lil buzz to take the edge Everyday to wake up and out of bed A little buzz in my head will get me by Don’t want a frown on my face if I die Little buzz in my head you grip me tight Squeeze me all day and all night Don’t need no check ins from my friends By your side All I need is that warm embrace and I abide I abide And I don’t want your help And I don’t need anything else And I don’t want your help I don’t need anything else little buzz take the edge I need the fuzz Muffling the thoughts in my head I don’t need your help I don’t trust anyone else Little buzz please be true I need you with me to get me through I don’t need help I don’t need anything else
5.
Many years ago, I shared this story in class I was a just kid in grade school then I said, “my brothers friend was killed by a drunk driver this weekend He was walking home from the mall with a friend” I remember what happened then The kids pitied me I read it on their faces Let me cut the line The attention made me cry cause I was shy The attention made me cry cause I was shy The ghost of a dead kid rides again In my head A phantom in the chaos Now I’m a middle aged man and recently I was introduced to a new client He had the same name as the kid, pretty common actually It didn’t register at first and then it hit me like a brick to the cranium That picture in the year book, last page, in memoriam And how it scared me, fucked me up, full stop, full dread My brothers friend was dead The ghost of a dead kid rides again In my head A phantom in the chaos The ghost of a dead kid rides again In my head A phantom in the chaos
6.
Until Delete 04:03
I search the sky and horizon Under water and cool side of the stone Somewhere there’s no armor High definition turns into flesh and bone Inspect my skin magnifier Minute arrangements randomized I know this thing that I’m looking for Forever just beyond my blackened eyes Years go by and I’m still tryin To find these cracks underlying If I do will there be meaning I’ll just keep on if I’m still disbelieving
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about

All music and production by Stu Leiter

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released June 2, 2023

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about

Hochen Phoenix, Arizona

Hochen is Stuart Leiter's low-fi stoner/grunge project

Hochen music is also on Spotify, Apple Music and Amazon.

open.spotify.com/artist/4g2zmRiKu978QcldlNTfyX?si=jqdkVQexRV-pr0uDBhs36Q

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